I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
