So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
