HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
