i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
