i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
