I accidentally had phone sex last night
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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