last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize