yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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