You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
