No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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