yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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