I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
worst night to have a conscience
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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