I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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