I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
