my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
