The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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