so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
