I CAN MOONWALK!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
