I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
