Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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