I am spending my child support on dildos
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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