everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
babies were throwing up all over the place
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I fill condoms, not promises.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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