Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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