oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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