Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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