the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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