needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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