mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?