Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
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Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.