So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?