I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
