When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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