I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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