She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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