my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
