Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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