It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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