Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
