and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
