Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
