dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize