This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
