Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
