"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
