OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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