Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
