You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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