3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
