i'm signing you up for texting rehab
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
