dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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