how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
