Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
