On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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