so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
