We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
