It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I need to calm my uterus...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
