He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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