giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
