remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize