you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
